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Baggage. We’ve all got it. For some of us, the hurts in our hearts were inflicted by people who treated us cruelly and violently. Some of us were neglected or abandoned (which resulted in adoption and/or foster care). Still others of us lost people we loved, ache over our “great childhoods” that just somehow didn’t meet our needs, grieve for our series of failed relationships. The spectrum of ways we experience pain are great in number, and each of us has our own sad stories to tell. The sad stories lead to hurts, and over time, hurts become holes. We expend incredible energy working to cover the holes in our hearts by denying that they’re there, or we try to “fill” them with smoking, drinking, drugging, eating, or spending. Or maybe we work too much, "can't" be alone without experiencing high levels of anxiety (or keep others at an arm's length because otherwise, they're "too close"), gamble… We search, negotiate, beg and plead for someone to understand, to validate, to soothe. And most of us do this unconsciously. Most days, with our behavior, we’re trying to “unpack our bags” without ever realizing it.
Because our deepest wounds have occurred in the context of relationships, we also find the most effective healing in the same context – relationship. Sometimes, we come into health and wholeness because of a romantic partner. Other times, light makes its way into our darkness through a friend, parent, or child.
One of the most significant relationships to change, however, is our relationship with "self."
I love that I get to encourage people in their journeys Inward because as we change the way we relate to ourselves, we change the ways in which we’re able to relate to others. The possibilities for intimacy, understanding, and soothing become endless.
As we’re able to discover and nurture ourselves, we create the relationships we need.
And we heal.
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