In July, after a series of very personal events, I decided it was time to “take it back.”

After losing a friend and colleague in a terrible accident on July 19, 2011, the last year had been filled with a great deal of learning and grieving and missing and waiting… and wondering.  Much of it was very painful and lonely.  And most of it was awfully dark.  With the anniversary upon me of Laurel and the Ladybugs’ flight Heavenward, I was eager reclaim the light and love that felt like my friend.

Since her passing, I had been wrestling, trying to find a way to remember Laurel and her three little lights, Hannah, Zoe, and Lucy, on a larger scale.  Just a few days into July, the seeds planted in my heart to that very end felt… well, crazy.  The number of hurdles I would have to clear to begin to see the vision take root were daunting.  I found myself in a whole new season of loneliness, but desperate and determined to find a way.  If I could find others who shared the vision, who knew and loved her like I did, maybe her Foundation could be my shout toward Heaven, “Laurel!!!  Do you know?  Now do you see?  I never got to tell you how important you were while you were here…  I didn’t say it…  I never took the time or tried to speak my love like I should have.  Did you see and understand all this, in spite of me, when you were walking here with me?  And if you didn’t, does this help you see how grateful I am to have your fingerprints on my heart?”

They were not easy days – the days of finding the soil in which my seeds for her should be planted.  And I know there are probably difficult days ahead.  But now, there is a beacon, showing the way and bringing me back to love when I forget.  Her name is Never Alone, and she sounds just like my friend, Laurel.  Never Alone is my glad shout Heavenward… and I know she hears.

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Yours in Love, Light & Relationship,


Jen Winkelmann